Triggers: How To Navigate Through Them With Your Wife

This is one of first things my mind imprinted on when it came up in counseling. It was the first time I ever heard of the term back in 2014. Then it became a REAL popular term over the years afterwards. Nonetheless, they are real and they are hard to manage. But with the correct tools in your belt you can do it.

A trigger in psychology is a stimulus such as a smell, sound, or sight that triggers feelings of trauma. People typically use this term when describing posttraumatic stress (PTSD).

A trigger is a reminder of a past trauma. This reminder can cause a person to feel overwhelming sadness, anxiety, or panic. It may also cause someone to have flashbacks. A flashback is a vivid, often negative memory that may appear without warning. It can cause someone to lose track of their surroundings and “relive” a traumatic event.

Unfortunately as husbands, our response is often: anger, defensiveness, shame, excuses, low energy, shutdown, dismissiveness, or just plain mean.

But the truth is we don’t actually WANT to respond that way. Most of us desperately want to help our wives in those moments. If we were honest, most of us aren’t really sure what to do. On top of all that, it can feel like its a constantly moving target.

The bar is TOO HIGH and we don’t have what she needs. Too often it seems like we make things worse not better. That leaves many of us feeling like a failure and disappointment.

I want YOU to feel connected, prepared, and empowered to help when she’s triggered! For me, what someone taught me was the wholistic approach to it:

• MIND: Neuro-anatomy of triggers

• HEART: What emotions are present, what they mean, and how to respond to them.

• BODY: Physiological effects of triggers and how to be comforting.

• SOUL: Spiritual implications and how our faith can help in those moments.

We have to remember that every trigger is an opportunity for healing!

Real soon I’ll be setting up a zoom call to discuss this and how we as men can better navigate this area in our marriage. I need you to get on the list and better yourself as a man, a husband, a friend. How do you get on the list? I made it easy!

Click the button below.